I once read, “Motherhood is the scariest hood there is.” I thought, how witty and funny! But honestly, sometimes when I get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the day-to-day chaos of raising littles, I can understand the truth to that statement. I find myself worrying when I know Jesus tells me that worry is a sin and when we worry we aren’t trusting that He is in control. But I am human and I am imperfect, so I worry…
- I worry that I’m not doing enough as a Mama.
- I worry my post-pregnancy body won’t be appealing to my husband like my pre-pregnancy body once was.
- I worry I am not being a good enough friend for my friends.
- I worry about silly little things that I don’t even remember anymore, because really they were never worth worrying about in the first place.
Like I said, I know God considers it a sin to worry so when I catch myself getting sucked into those negative worries listed above, I am reminded of God’s truth: Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Seriously, just typing that verse gives me a peaceful, mind-clearing feeling…like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It’s true, the Holy Spirit is with us, guiding our every move and that’s amazing and truly something to be so thankful for!
So I’m going to go through each worry I’ve listed and remind myself, along with all of you, why it’s just not right to worry… It won’t make any of us completely stop worrying all together, but it will help remind us that we are doing good and it’s so important that we crush our worries with thanksgiving and all the blessings God has given us!
The other day my Mama and I were driving down some beautiful country roads, headed to one of our favorite boutiques. We were having a conversation about being a Mom and all that it encompasses. We discussed how putting children first, even if that means letting others down, doesn’t mean you are “using your kids as an excuse.” Yes, someone once got frustrated with me for not doing what they expected of me and stated that “kids aren’t an excuse.” I’m telling you, those words, made my blood boil at the time. I didn’t let them know how much their words affected me, because it is their opinion and they have a right to that. So, I just prayed and realized..
1. I am doing enough.
-YOU are doing enough.
I put my kids first, and I don’t use them as “excuses.” Putting children before our needs and the expectations of others is being an Unselfish Mother. That’s my opinion, and I truly believe that is how God designed and intended Mother’s and Father’s to be. After having babies, it became very clear to me that life is no longer about me; quite the contrary. In fact, in the blink of an eye, it’s all about your baby and their well-being and that is ok…that is how it should be, because life is full of seasons and with each season we face those too will pass. In my personal option, they pass all too quickly! I wish there was a way to slow down this precious time with my minis!
Some women have babies and bounce back to their pre-pregnancy bodies in no time, others carry excess weight while nursing or sometimes even longer, if not forever.
2. I know my body has changed, but it is proof that it birthed two beautiful children with only a 4 month grace period between giving birth and getting pregnant again. So yes, my body has changed. Yes, I carry extra weight that lingers while I breastfeed… And YES, I know I still appeal to my husband, because we love one another and when you marry your best friend under God, body image isn’t an end-all factor.
-YOU are beautiful Mama’s! No matter what your post-pregnancy body may look like. It’s important to remember, that it took 9 months to grow that beautiful, tiny little masterpiece! It’s only natural to give our bodies grace and at least… LEAST 9 months to get back to any type of “normal.” Being an Unselfish Mother also means not obsessing over our body image and weight. God only gives us what we can handle and it is important to treat everything we have been given in life as a blessing from Him, that we need to learn to embrace, even when it seems impossible. Of course, living an active healthy lifestyle is always a good option and the best way to feel good and able to run around with our energenic kiddos; but it is, by no means, something to stress and worry about.
Being a new Mama and maintaining friendships can be particularly hard… I was having a conversation with an amazing Mommy friend the other day and her words were so enlightening and exactly what I have always thought, just didn’t really know how to express it in words. She said, “I think sometimes people think we’re being selfish (as moms) but it’s the exact opposite. Like we are giving up A LOT. Like A LOT. Basically the most selfless gig on this planet is being a SAHM (stay at home mom). Not to mention the physical and emotional exhaustion it can take.” -Anonymous Kick-Butt Mama 😉
Again, that is just an agreed upon opinion between friends, not trying to offend anyone; especially not all you working Mama’s out there, because God’s knows how hard you are working for your families as well, and it goes without saying how unselfish that is!
3. I know I am being a good friend to my friends. I know where my heart is at, and I know my intentions are pure. What I can control is how I behave and interact with friends. What I can’t control is how they may preserve it and maybe not even accept it. But, it’s so important to not worry about it… True friends are there and love you through each and every stage of life. I’ve always thought (even before kiddos) that friends are a true blessing and even if you don’t talk or see each other often, that doesn’t mean the bond created is tarnished or destroyed… That’s the true beauty of friendships! I am truly thankful for all the amazing friends in my life, whether we’ve known one another forever or have recently created a relationship… You are all so special to me and I’m beyond thankful for the light you bring to my life! I thank you for supporting me during this journey of Motherhood (you all know who you are)!
-YOU are a good friend, even if you don’t text back right away because you were nursing your baby to sleep for an afternoon nap and you decided you wanted to linger while she sleeps so peacefully in your arms. YOU are a good friend even if you can’t be there (presently)… You want to be, but that’s not always reality with little ones who ultimately need YOU… more. YOU are a good friend and they love you and will understand… Unselfish Motherhood.
It’s time to stop the worry and be BRAVE! Be brave in day-to-day tasks that may seem oh-so-small… Replace that worry with bravery! I want to teach my kiddos by example. I want them to see how courageous and brave their Mama is and was. I want all of you, whether you are a Mother, Father, Wife, Husband or Friend to simply put God first and remember He has us exactly where He wants us for an amazing reason. Let’s be brave and trust in that truth and kick worry to the curb! I plan to work on this and make it my goal to achieve daily!
Have Faith Mama(s)… Remember, there’s no need to worry because “if God is for us, who can be against us!?” -Romans 8:31