So after writing “Unselfish Motherhood” I got a ton of positive feedback and thought I would write about “Honest Motherhood” as a spin-off if you will. When I wrote about being an unselfish Mama I tried to focus on some of the things (I believe) Mommy’s give up during this unselfish season of life, which all those things are ok to give up and it’s justified because our kiddos take priority, and like I stated in that post, I believe that is how God intended raising young children to be. In this post, I am focusing on how Motherhood affects us Mama’s on a deeper level.
Being honest takes bravery sometimes. It’s not always easy putting our pride aside and breaking down to the raw honesty of our lives and days with our minis. Being a Mama isn’t always pretty, it isn’t always picture perfect like it’s almost always portrayed on social media. I myself am certainly guilty of posting the perfect pictures. Of course we want others around us to think we have it all together, but ya know what? That just isn’t reality… No one’s life is perfect; no ONE (on this earth) is perfect for that matter. Of course Jesus is perfect and as Christians we should all try and live our lives to be more like Him and His image. However, we are all sinners and we will never be able to achieve perfection while on this planet and that is ok, that is the sole reason God sent His one and only Son (Jesus) to save us from our sins so we can all be in Heaven with our Grand Creator one day when we die. So with all that truth, I think it’s time to break it down and be honest, give one another some grace and give one another some love! We all need it, and if you don’t think so… you’re just not being honest with yourself.
Raising two kiddos under 2 years of age can be incredibly difficult. I often chuckle at myself just thinking about when I just had Lazar and I thought that was the most challenging… and don’t get me wrong it was, I’ve just never known exhaustion like I know it now! Each Mama has her own relevant struggles, whether you have one or twenty-one kiddos… It can be so so challenging and draining that is a fact and that is Motherhood!
Whenever I start thinking about writing a new blog post, I always pray and ask God what HE wants me to write about… whether it’s a big or small topic I always have confidence that He is the one giving me the ideas and words! So, I knew I wanted to write about Honest Motherhood when I was planning on having a few of my favorite girlfriends over for a girls night! I wanted to get some tasks done around the house. From the get-go, I set myself up for disaster, attempting unrealistic expectations (this is something I do WAY too often) and I’m sure many of you Mama’s can relate to that! My Husband often reminds me how I set myself up for a disappointment when I assume things I want to happen, then expect it to for sure happen… It’s just not fair and causes unnecessary stress. So before the ladies arrived that night, I was trying to get my daily walk/workout in, get the kiddos fed and down for a nap so I would then be able to clean up the house and get myself ready! Honestly, typing that doesn’t seem like it’s that much to accomplish before 6pm… BUT sheesh, did Lazar and Mila have other plans in mind. I put a movie on to distract Lazar while I put Mila down for a nap (this typically works) but Miss Mila just did not want to fall asleep fast, in fact every time her eyes would get heavy Lazar would yell out for me or quite the opposite, he got really quite and decided he wanted to climb up on the trunk closest to the TV and chuck fragile items from the shelf located above said trunk, to the ground (all just so so nerve-frying)! After setting Mila in her crib I attempted to change Lazar’s now poop filled diaper. He hates the diaper changes so he started crying which ended up waking Mila… As I attempted to put Lazar down in his crib to nap, I ran to Mila to calm her. She finally fell back asleep but Lazar was now screaming in his crib… so back to him I went, it took a good 20 minutes and some snuggles to get him sleeping as well (since I rushed it the first time). At this point I felt so frazzled since that entire nap, screaming, diaper changing battle lasted about 2 hours…
As I laid there with Lazar snuggled up close to me and watched Mila on the monitor sleeping soundly, I couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming wave of emotions come over me, which made tears rush down my face. I felt like I wasn’t doing a good job… I had to give Lazar a time-out for throwing a shoe at Mila earlier that morning, after we returned home from our walk. He was initially mad we had to come inside so he proceeded to throw toys (which is a no-no). I told him not to throw his toys, as they will most likely hit his sister… He’s almost 2 years old so he isn’t exactly willing to reason with me. He looked at me and tossed his shoe right at Mila’s face…thats when the time-out happened. After all the tears it was clear they both needed naps (and I explained that 2 hour process above)… I sat in tears, holding Lazar, feeling sorry for myself having had a tough morning. I thought, I have so much to do to get ready for tonight and it was such a draining morning, I would never be able to accomplish that now. I was being over sensitive and not giving myself enough grace. Lazar and Mila are only 13 months apart and they need me for practically everything still, so when they need me at the same time it’s such a defeating feeling because you can’t be and do two things at once… As I cuddled with Lazar feeling all emotional, I realized I am blessed more than I deserve and I need to thank God for these hard, humbling moments (which is also the moment I realized I will write about this honest moment as a Mommy). I stayed with Lazar while he slept on me for extra long that afternoon, kissed him probably 1 million times and loved every breath I felt and heard him take on me. I am so thankful for my family and I never want to get caught up in the devils schemes to try and take that joy away!
The devil wants us to feel overwhelmed by a messy house. He wants us to feel the pressure from society and social media to try and be as perfect as the pictures we post and see. He wants us to lie and say being a Mama is easy and stress free… But God knows our hearts, He knows our struggles behind closed doors and cell phone screens! He wants us to be honest with Him and ourselves. It is ok to have a messy house with dishes pilling up, finger prints all over our windows, peanut butter crusted in our hair and our couch from two days ago (yes, that’s happened), it is OK and it is going to Be OK! Eventually our sweet babies are going to grow and not need us like they do when they are little and we are going to ache for time to reverse! Our living rooms will be clean again and our stress will just find itself somewhere else.
So it’s ok to be honest and vulnerable during this season of our lives. Others are in your same boat and I can guarantee it’s refreshing to hear how hard their days have been as well; but if we don’t open up… chances are others won’t feel comfortable opening up either. Be the one to take the lead and show grace and love to one another like Jesus did, still does and always will! I have found that essential oils help in ways I never thought was possible. After my Wednesday morning from crazyville, I put the oil blend balance in our diffuser and it settled my nerves and helped me relax while praying and also typing this blog post.
Reading my Bible always, ALWAYS makes me feel better as well… literally without fail. So diffusing some calming oils and reading/praying (even for just a few minutes) from my Bible is literally the most amazing recipe for taking stressful situations and putting them into a calm and realistic feelings.
I know there are problems in this world and when your kids have a tough day it just doesn’t compare. But in life its all about whats relevant in the moment… When I was planning my wedding I told myself, this is either going to be stressful or it can be enjoyable. I chose to enjoy it, I am doing the same as a Mommy… I can either let comparing myself on social media get the best of me or I can enjoy my babies while they are still babies. At the end of the day, Lazar and Mila aren’t going to remember the car we drove or the clothing we wore, they are going to remember the love and affection and hopefully pass that on to their babies one day too! Everyday my house is messy, the dishes pile up, my makeup isn’t done, my hair is all over the place and my body is slowly… SLOWLY, changing… and it is up to us how relevant we want to make those small things!
Have Faith Mama(s)… Be Honest and Know God is right there with you!
Psalms 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”