First of all, just typing the title of this made me cry, so you can only imagine how special this time of our lives was… still is… will always be! Everyone told us becoming a parent is indescribable, “you just won’t understand how amazing it is until it happens!” Well, there couldn’t be any more truth to that statement. The day Paul and I became parents, was truly the very best thing that ever happened to us! Lazar’s birth story is something I am so happy to share and document so one day I can look back and read this. Maybe he will read this one day too and think wow! I owe her a big hug (haha)!
I’ll never forget the day I found out I was pregnant… Saturday, March 15th 2014. I woke up around 9:30am and decided I was going to take a pregnancy test. I had been taking them pretty frequently hoping for the two lines to come shooting across the screen of the pregnancy test. I remember thinking, “here you go wasting another one of these things…” As I sat there it became pretty evident immediately what the result was…”Holy CRAP! It’s POSITIVE!!!!!!!” That’s EXACTLY what I yelled from the little tiny bathroom in our little tiny lake house we were living in at the time. Of course Paul was listing to something on his computer and had his headphones on so he didn’t hear me! I ran into the living room to show him, with tears rushing down my face. He looked at me and just knew! Ah the beginning to the most beautiful love story!
After Paul and I relished in the excitment of having a baby, I just couldn’t hold in the news from our families. My parents lived right down the road from us at the time and I thought what better way to tell them, than in person! I called and asked if they wanted to go on a walk, as we frequently did… of course they agreed. I’ll never forget the excitement of walking into their bedroom with the news I was about to tell them. I was about to give them one of the greatest gifts I could possibly ever give… a grand baby! They were going to be grandparents for the very first time! I could barely hold it in! My Dad was sitting on a bench at the end of their bed putting on his shoes and my Mom was in their closet. “I have a question for you guys? Are you ready to be grandparents!?” We shared a moment that was so special to me and will forever hold a special place in my heart! We cried tears of joy in each others arms! What a fun walk that ended up being!
My pregnancy was amazing! We moved out of our little lake home and into our new home we reside in now. We were preparing for our SON! I was so excited to have a boy first. We both have older brothers and I think it’s what we both wanted to start off our family with…Ultimately, God just knew it is exactly what we needed! We chose to name him Lazar after my Uncle Lock. It is a Croatian name, since that is my families heritage. Lock or Locky is the english version of Lazar. More importantly though, we wanted to name him after someone we both love and look up to and my Uncle Lock was the perfect man for the job! I could write a book about how amazing that man is! Anyways, my due date was November 27th, 2014. The months were flying by and my belly was HUGE! People constantly told me I was having multiples. I’ll never forget the September night at the grocery store when a man at the check out said to me, “wow, is the car waiting outside to take you to the hospital? You look ready to pop!” Little did he know I had a couple months to go! I humored him with a smile and a, “Yes, any day know!” Eh, what’s a little white lie… Didn’t want him to feel bad (haha).
Finally, November came. We were SO EXCITED! I had been seeing a midwife with hopes of having the most natural birth as possible! We planned on having a water birth in the hospital. I didn’t want any drugs and I wanted to go into labor on my own, no inducing. Well, God had other plans and it’s best to NOT make your own at all sometimes because He always has final say! As Lazar grew my Midwife was concerned I may need a cesarean because of how big I was measuring. I remained optimistic, leaving all the c-section talk at the very back of my mind. My Mom and Mother-in-law both had large babies naturally, so could I… I thought!
November 25th, 2014 3am… OUCH! Woke up to uncomfortable cramping. I figured it was just the normal aches and pains of having such a large belly, so I got up to go to the bathroom and when I laid back down I realized the cramping wasn’t going away, it was consistent. I had downloaded a contraction counter app to help me track each contraction and how long they lasted. Side note** Our bags were all packed and ready because our Midwife suggested I get induced if I wanted to try and have this baby naturally (because of his size). We fought against it and even canceled the first planned induction, as it just didn’t feel right. We prayed long and hard about it and agreed on 7am, Tuesday, November 25th, 2014 to get induced. We were still uneasy about the idea of rushing something with drugs that just didn’t seem necessary, so we continued to pray long and hard. BAM! I went into labor on my own. Once again, it’s God plan! I called the nurse direct line at the hospital to let them know I went into labor on my own, they instructed me to keep my 7am appointment unless the contractions got unbearable before then.
We arrived at the hospital at 6:45am and knew by the time we left we would have our baby boy! The excitement was through the roof! Labor, oh labor! Yes, it really is as bad as you think, it’s actually worse! Mine lasted 20+ hours and I was still determined to deliver Lazar drug free. My plan seemed to be happening… Then, it just wasn’t. During the 20+ hours my Midwife broke my water, I walked the halls, I sat in the bathtub, I sat on the giant exercise ball, we rubbed essential oils everywhere…yes, EVERYWHERE (haha)! Nothing seemed to get things moving. I only got to 4.5 centimeters during that entire process. 20+ hours, no drugs, excruciating pain and now the surgeon comes in, examines me, and explains I will need a c-section. We agree it’s the best/safest option for Lazar and I. Everyone left the room to start prepping for surgery except Paul and my parents. The second I heard the door shut, I broke down sobbing. I felt like needing a c-section was a failure and made me less of a mother. I’ll never forget my Dad rushing over to my bedside balling, reassuring me “everything is going to be ok!” I loved that moment and I’ll never forget it! This is all apart of “The Plan!” God’s Plan! I trusted that and knew it was the best option.
Now that I knew I was getting a c-section I was SO READY to not experience any more pain! I had had enough over the span of the full day! I mean for crying out loud it WAS Wednesday, November, 26th at this point so I had endured a day of labor drug free, now I was ready for the pain to go bye-bye! They gave me an epidural while they got the surgery room prepared so I was able to relax. I’ve learned (NOW) my body doesn’t respond well to medication because the first epidural didn’t work… the second one helped and I was able to rest a bit before surgery. As you can tell Paul found the scrubs appealing (haha)! When the Doctor began the surgery I felt an immense amount of burning like a hot iron was being pressed against my skin! I shrieked, yelling out, “It BURNS! It BURNS!” The Doctor immediately stopped and I was pumped with more drugs… ugh! The tugging and pulling was extremely uncomfortable! I think people assume women who get c-sections just go in for a nice little pain-free surgery and batta-bing batta-boom… a baby! NONO that’s certainly not the case!
Wednesday, November 26, 2014 at 1:56am Lazar Charles Wise was born! Weighing 9lbs. 14oz. 23 inches long! I was overwhelmed with joy I balled as I watched the nurses clean him off across the room! I was devastated I wasn’t able to have him in my arms immediately! It felt like they ripped my soul out of me and I couldn’t do a thing but just lay there and watch… After they stitched me up and wheeled me back into my room my body was in shock and shaking uncontrollably. My blood pressure dropped to a very unsafe level and the Doctor was called back to check on me. Thankfully I was stabilized and snuggling our sweet baby boy! Holy Moly God’s plan was dramatically different than what I was hoping for! But, I know it was for the best and I will trust in that forever! looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing! Its our story and I love it!
God always has our very best interest in mind! He is always with us and as long as we believe in Him and His plan we are going to be just fine! That was the hardest day of my life but it was also one of the best! It was the day I became a Mama! It was a long day, and through all the pain there was also some other drama that now brings nothing but laughter. Mid-day my Midwife is rubbing a lavender oil mixtures on my back as I am hunched over the hospital bed, when my Mom steps in and offers to take over so my Midwife could check on her other patients. My Mom takes over right as I had a hard contraction… mid groans my Mom explains she feels warm and may need to sit down. Meanwhile, I can’t talk, I’m in so much pain so I remain hunched, being no help… Mom walks away when I here, “JESUS CATHY!” YEP! Mom passed out in the hallway! My Dad tried to catch her mid fall (all while yelling out “JESUS CATHY!”) haha! Her and my Dad gave blood that afternoon which is probably why she passed out combined with the lack of food and seeing her daughter in immense pain! All-in-All an amazing day!
Have Faith Mama(s)… because Gods plan is always going to be bigger & better than you could ever imagine!